a picture my aunt just posted on facebook....

I love this photo. These are my grandparents. My mother's father and mother. And this is one of the very few photos I have ever seen of them together..or of my grandmother period. My mom's mother passed away when my mom was only 14 years old.....so I never got the privilage to meet her. And my papaw passed away when I was barely five. I don't remember him very well...in fact there are only two or three real memories that I have of him...most of the others are from stories or pictures. My favorite one is I remember sitting on the kitchen counter at his house and 'helping' him make his delicious pumpkin pie! (Mom has that recipe now and its still the best pumpkin pie I've ever tasted!:) And I still remember his voice, and Im sure thats bc of my tape...but I remember it all the same. We have an old cassette tape of me and him singing...haha He sang so lovely and I will cherish that tape for as long as I live! Both of my Dad's parents passed away before I was born as well...so Ive never really known what it was like to have grandparents. Its so crazy that you can miss someone you barely knew, or someone you never knew at all. But I miss them so soo bad sometimes. There is an emptiness there when others talk about their grandparents...or when I see children with their grandparents. I am 25yrs old and I STILL think of (long for and miss) what it would have been like to have had them in my life. I know life isn't perfect and many people have lost family members and many will never even know their own parents or children...so Im not meaning to, I guess complain...but this is on my heart tonight and I felt like getting it out. It's not something that I talk about, hardly ever really. I usally get all teary eyed and choked up and feel bad for bringing it up in the first place. But ya know, too often I say or don't say things bc I know others have it worse and I don't want to sound selfish or anything....but I'm coming to realize that it IS ok to talk about things that bother you, things that hurt you, things you need to talk about. It IS ok to be the listener, the advice giver and shoulder lender..but its also ok to be the one who needs the shoulder. And that is something God is teaching me and showing me lots already in this new year. So I am going to continue to be the friend I've been, but also be more open and honest and less afraid to share my own thoughts, hurts and emotions...